PHALANX - The series

Episode Thirty-six: Shadow's Secret

This story takes place in epilogue to Shadow's Year 160. I suggest you read that before you tackle this story.

The bridge was quiet this time of morning. Linda and Borlan were monitoring something or other, their sensors on the bridge deactivated thanks to the privacy mode. Only the non-sentient computer was overhearing what transpired. Twilight indicated the night shift, and there were no active stations to provide illumination.

Only the main screen was active, and the consoles built into the command chair bleeped as slender fingers manipulated the keys.

A planet Earth was visible, rotating normally, the fingers stopping their typing as the small figure leaned forward, and sighed.

You know... we could go down there, Frederic suggested.

It's been ninety years, Shadow replied to the voice in her head. I long since got over it... this is merely a memory now.

U-huh, Frederic answered skeptically. That's why you keep coming back to it, right? And It wasn't so pleasant at the time... not to mention those years that you told Guardian to fuck off and leave you alone.

Shadow shrugged. She got what she deserved. What she pulled... the Mystic Warrior started to grow angry.

I know, Frederic whispered gently. I know... it was a low act, and I agree with your decision.

But it remains... somewhere... it remains... what if...? Shadow then said, sadly, lowly, watching the screen.

It probably would have been very good for you, Frederic replied neutrally. He didn't have to voice his thoughts. She knew.

But the universe would have gone to shambles.

Frederic's presence nodded. Probably... or maybe not. We'll never know.

I'm grateful for that, at least, the Universal Savior answered calmly.

After what happened to me a week ago, you know that Jennifer and D aren't going to be so lenient on you as they were on me, Frederic suddenly said, switching topics once again. They won't take the risk of you breaking down like I did.

Shadow started to get angry again. I am FINE!

I know you, Shadow. You're NOT fine. That planet over there... that planet nearly destroyed you. And it is still inside of you, an unclosed chapter in your book of life! Jennifer and D are going to drag up whatever you buried the moment they find out what we've been doing here for the last three nights... and ti's going to be a whole lot more painful than last time.

Shadow grunted, and slumped in the command chair. I know... I wish I could have helped you the way you're trying to help me now, the raven-haired woman then said. But...

But you couldn't. Because of that planet, Frederic answered for her, saving her the emotional pain of voicing her thoughts. He was blunt, she knew it, but she also knew it was for her own good that he was purposely blunt.

Maybe we should go down there by ourselves, she suggested. Save my sanity before it goes out of control... even if it's been ninety years.

It's only been a little over two months down there, Frederic answered. They'll still remember you.

The young me, Shadow answered bitterly. And I am not looking forward to being fourteen again. It was horrible.

Then don't, Frederic whispered gently. Stay yourself... and see if it can be worked out.

Shadow sighed, and nodded. Righting her head, she took one last look at the planet, before standing up, and telling the computer to beam her down. To Tokyo.

Shadow materialized in downtown Tokyo, near a place she knew well. Too well. She swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. As nervous as the fourteen-year-old form she had abandoned on this world ninety years ago. From her perspective.

I'm here, Frederic whispered to her reassuringly. If you need me...

Thank you, Shadow thought back, steeling her nerves and squashing her nervousness. Cool and composed, she climbed the stairs to the go club she had frequented so much during her time here.

Would HE be here? She wondered. COULD he be here? Do I WANT him to be here? She emerged from the stairs, finding the place semi-filled. She smiled, and handed out the appropriate amount of Yen to the nice brunette behind the desk, and entered. She suddenly missed her old pass, allowing her to enter as many times as she wanted...

Shadow shook her head, walking around the club, looking for any familiar face, while pretending to be interested in the games going on. Finally, she sat down, started laying down stones in a familiar pattern. Her game again Touya Meijin... her last game again Touya Meijin.

The chair on the other side of the goban moved; Shadow looked up, not realizing that she had been so engrossed in the game she hadn't been paying attention.

She swallowed. “Touya-san...” she whispered, not knowing how to address him now.

“Sakamoto-san,” he answered coolly, watching her with those dissecting eyes.

She swallowed, silence stretched. “Akira-kun...” she ventured. His face softened slightly.

“Hikage-chan.”

She smiled, despite herself. Nobody would dare call her a young girl now. But he got away with it.

“You came back,” he then said, voice vibrating oddly.

She nodded, staring at the goban. “Yes... yes, I did...”

He eyed her strangely. “Why?” he suddenly asked her, his voice rising slightly. “Why did you came back!?”

“I... I just couldn't leave it like it was,” Shadow answered. “How we separated... it... it wasn't right.”

“Damn right it wasn't!” Touya shouted, causing some people to look up at the usually composed Touya Akira, before resuming their games. He sat down again, trying to control his voice. “So now you're going to rip my heart out a second time?”

“I'm... I'm sorry,” she whispered. “I... I wanted to stay...”

She heard his breath hitch, then release audibly. “I know... and I know that you had to go. That's why... that's why I told you to go... so why did you come back?”

Shadow looked at him. “For me, ninety years have passed, Akira-kun.” she saw his mind try to wrap around the concept of so many years passing. “I have finished my path... I have done what I was trained to do... and now I am free to look up old friends.”

“Is that what I am? Just an 'old friend'?” he then asked, eyes filling with anger again.

Shadow shook her head. “No... no, Akira-kun. You're so much more than that... so much more in fact, that I have never forgotten about you as the years slid by. Most I forgot as the years turned to decades... only remembering them when something reminded me. But you... you're the only one who stayed with me for year after year, decade after decade.”

Akira looked at the table now, trying to clear his mind by focusing on the goban. “I missed you,” he then said, his voice vibrating. “I missed you so much...”

“I miss you too, Akira-kun. That's why I came looking...” she answered.

“So... why are you here?” he asked, pleaded.

Shadow shook her head. “I don't know. I don't know why I came, even though I should have let this rest. I don't know why I couldn't forget about you, even as the years slid by and I was sure that you had long since died of old age. I just don't know!”

Touya looked oddly at her. “It's strange... seeing you like this. I'm still used to your younger form, I guess... but it's good to see that you're still the same Hikage, even if you look different.”

Shadow smiled slightly. “Even if I am 250 years old now?”

Touya grinned, and shrugged. “You were always older than me, Hikage. I may not have known for most of the time, but you always were... mature, knowledgeable, strong. That hasn't changed.”

Shadow smiled gratefully, looking back at the goban. “How about a game?” she offered, motioning to the board.

Touya smiled. “I thought you'd never ask, Hikage.”

Flashback

Shadow's 14-year-old face looked up from the goban, located in the Touya game room. “That was a good game.”

“You're definitely growing stronger, Hikage-chan,” Touya told her as they cleaned up the stones. “That attack on my lower right quadrant was a good one.”

“I still didn't get very far with it, though, Akira-kun,” Shadow answered honestly. “I still lost.”

“Yes, but you had me thinking. It's not every day somebody actually makes me think,” Touya told her calmly. He stood up, and she followed his lead. “Father's students come over in above five minutes. Usually, I join them... but this time, I feel that we both may benefit more if we discussed this match.”

Shadow nodded gratefully as he led her outside, to the beautiful Japanese garden. They were soon engrossed in the discussion of their match, Touya offering suggestions to improve Shadow's way of thinking as she explained her reasoning behind her moves.

As she explained, though, something else made its way in Touya Akira's heart. Admiration... he admired the tenacity with which she attacked each problem, and he found himself respecting her logical and methodical analysis. Of course, that didn't mean they were right. It just meant that he respected her way of doing things.

As he offered another piece of advice, he saw her mind start working again. This time, he watched her as she stood there, legs spread slightly; hands locked behind her back, looking at a bush but not seeing it, her mind going over what he had just told her. Her youthful face was frowned in thought, and he found himself liking her even more as she tried to work things out for herself.

“Is there a problem, Akira-kun?” he suddenly heard her ask, bringing him back to reality, the reality in which he had just been caught staring.

He blushed slightly, and looked away. “Sorry... I was just in thought.”

She nodded; seemed to accept his explanation. The discussion on Go continued, but it was no longer from the heart, not on his side anyway. He was distracted by her; by the strange manner in which she attacked Go. To him, it seemed as if it was more than just for fun with her. Granted, he looked at it the same way, but she seemed to go further... it seemed as if her entire life depended on it.

“Akira-kun, you're looking again,” she whispered suddenly. He blinked; blushed ferociously. “Is there something wrong?”

“Eh... no...” he whispered, looking away to hide the heat in his cheeks. Why was he looking at her that much? Why was he preoccupied? He never had been before... what was so strange about this girl that he couldn't think of the one thing he loved best doing, and kept thinking about her instead?

“Akira-kun...” she asked, voice gentle, turning to look at him. “For half the evening, you've been looking at me... what's wrong? You're my friend. Please, tell me what's wrong?” Not it was Shadow's turn to be confused. Why was she so concerned for Touya? Why was it so important that she help him? Or rather, why was it so important that he didn't think badly of her, which was her innermost fear?

“Hikage-chan...” he whispered, looking up, looking at her, losing himself in the odd deepness of her vibrant green eyes.

“Touya-kun?” she asked, looking back into his eyes, feeling an odd sensation of vertigo overtake her. She felt, rather than saw, him near her. She closed her eyes, drawn in by the magnetic energy that radiated from him; irresistibly drawing her closer. Their lips met in electric contact.

End flashback

“You're smiling,” Touya whispered.

“Just remembering the first time we kissed,” Shadow whispered in reply, smiling. “How we felt about each other...”

“My feelings to you never changed,” Touya replied, sadly. “Even with... that night... they never changed.”

“My feelings never changed either,” Shadow replied, looking sadly at the half-played game. “I merely got good at hiding them.” It was her turn. She took a stone; made a move. “I never wanted them to change.”

“Me neither, Hikage-chan,” Touya whispered, looking at the board. She knew that he would now be focusing on the game. It was his way of doing things... Go was his life.

But, instead, she found that his eyes weren't focused. He was thinking, just as hard as she was, trying to figure things out between them. Past, present, and future.

He made a move, mechanically placing the stone in place. A good move... not the best, but still, a pretty decent move. Her mind had ninety years on him now. She had thought about their games for decades and decades. She moved almost immediately.

It went on for five more minutes, neither talking, both pretending to be interested in the game instead of the person sitting on the other side of the goban.

Neither was very successful, even though Shadow was a little better at it than Touya was.

Flashback

“Thank you for walking me home,” almost-fifteen-year-old Shadow whispered to Touya, hiding the blushing of her cheeks pretty decently.

He smiled at her, not so successful in hiding his own blush. “It was nothing... and I enjoyed the time.”

Shadow nodded, smiling gracefully. “As did I,” she admitted, looking at the Shindo household. “I... I should probably go in...”

Touya nodded. “Probably.”

Shadow smiled at him, a smile he returned. “Akira-kun...”

“Hikage-chan...” he whispered in reply.

They leaned into each other, lips meeting, electric contact establishing. “See you at school tomorrow,” he whispered.

“Yes... tomorrow,” Shadow replied, in just as much a whisper, now no longer good at hiding the blush in this betraying body. They nodded a final time, and then they parted. She stood there; watching him leave. As he walked, he turned every half-dozen steps to look at her, until finally, he rounded a corner.

Shadow turned, floating into the house.

“You were KISSING him!” Hikaru shouted five minutes later, as she was laying flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. “I saw you! In the middle of the street, kissing Touya Akira!”

Shadow smiled broader. “Yes.”

Hikaru, prepared for just about anything, wasn't prepared for flat acceptance of the fact that he had seen them. He sat there, sputtering. “but... but...”

“It was just one small kiss...”

End flashback

Shadow snickered. Touya looked up, cocking his head slightly. “Thinking about when Hikaru saw us kissing in front of his house,” Shadow whispered.

Touya shook his head, a smile decorating his delicate aristocratic features. “Typical Hikaru,” the boy answered, smiling slightly.

Shadow nodded; turned back to the game presently. “Yes. Yes it is.”

“Are you going to visit him, too?”

Shadow sighed, and shook her head. “No... he was really angry at me for leaving... I don't think anything would be resolved between us if we just yelled some more at each other.”

“So I should feel honored, then,” Touya answered, somewhat bitterly. “Since I'm the only one whose heart gets stomped on a second time.”

Shadow looked up, pinned him with a sharp look as she spoke, “I didn't come here to stomp on your heart. I came here to resolve things left unsaid between us. And it's MY heart that gets stomped on as much as yours.”

Touya sighed, acknowledged her rightful anger. “I know,” he finally said, sighing slightly. “I know, Hikage-chan...”

Shadow nodded, turned back to the game board. Placing a stone, she looked up again. “I meant what I said, Akira-kun.”

Touya nodded. “I know... but I meant my words as well.”

Shadow let out her breath. “Why did things have to be so complicated...”

“Because you're not an ordinary woman... and you never were an ordinary girl, even when you were pretending to be one,” Touya replied evenly, just a hint of resentment in his voice. “Your time here ended.”

Shadow sighed once more. “That didn't make it easier.”

“But still... I appreciate what you were trying to do,” Touya told her. “It made me feel... special.”

Shadow smiled sadly. “I'm sorry, Akira-kun.”

He placed his stone. “I'm sorry too, Hikage-chan.”

Flashback

Fifteen-year-old Shadow was sitting on the other end of the goban. Touya studiously ignored her as he thought out the game plan he was going to use against her as her formations developed. Shadow had gotten stronger... a lot stronger... and they were now engaged in an even game. And, for the first time, Touya found himself forced to think of exit strategies.

She was getting really good.

Her next move opened his eyes, and he countered with all his heart.

To no avail... his formation in the lower right was lost, and Touya decided to cut his losses, and keep her from gaining any more territory. He had passed on the idea of trying to gain territory for himself, his attacks bouncing off of an almost impenetrable defense. He couldn't begin to imagine how his opponent could devise such strong defensive strategies, while still managing to gain territory on him.

Her next move made his breath stop. She had slammed her stone right in the middle of his formation on the upper left! She was now fighting over yet another quadrant, her formations developing continuously while his kept crumbling. For the first time while playing Shadow, he thought that he actually might lose.

Five minutes later, he surrendered.

“I beat you for the first time, Akira-kun!” she almost-shouted as they cleaned up the stones.

“Congratulations,” he told her, meaning every letter of it. “That was a great game you played! And, for the first time, you beat me in an even game.”

Shadow beamed at him. Touya smiled back at her, then leaned over. Their lips brushed gentle against each other's.

“Ahem.” Touya Meijin coughed as he entered the game room. Touya pulled back, looking at his father with a caught look on his face. Shadow merely looked at the goban, blushing ferociously, inwardly cursing the emotional instability of this young body.

“Father! I... eh... ”

“I was young once myself, my son,” Touya Meijin said, sitting down at the side of the goban. “But I distinctly heard something about Hikage beating you in an even game.”

Shadow looked up, nodding. “Yes, Touya-Sensei...”

“Show me,” Touya Meijin said, motioning for the goban. She and Touya Akira looked at each other, and recreated the game they had just played.

End flashback

“Now you are the one dreaming,” Shadow told the boy on the other side of the goban.

“Thinking about when you beat me for the first time, and Father caught us kissing,” Touya answered her, smiling slightly. Shadow smiled as well.

“I thought I was going to die of embarrassment,” she admitted. “Having your father catch us... a man I respected tremendously... was one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to me. And I've lived 250 years; I have my share of embarrassing stories.”

Touya looked at her, smiling. “Please... do share.”

Shadow smiled a little sadly. “One day, I had time off at my house in the ShadowZone,” she explained. “And I had a little bit too much to drink. Guardian came with ym next assignment, and found me totally drunk... she put me to bed.”

“That doesn't sound so embarrassing,” Touya grunted. “Unless you didn't want her to catch you drunk...”

“It is embarrassing if you beg her to be your friend, and then ask her for a bed-time story,” Shadow said, a little chagrined. Touya covered his mouth.

“I can see how that would be embarrassing,” he finally answered.

The two looked at each other, eye-contact dragging on. “So...” Shadow finally whispered. “How... I mean...”

Touya understood. “I've been dealing,” he whispered, looking at the game on the goban once more. “Moved up in the pro rankings... and I've been playing Hikaru a lot. He's gotten really good.”

Shadow nodded. “I'm glad that... you know...”

Touya nodded. “It wasn't easy... but I'll cope.” He looked up at her. “And you? What's new with you?”

Shadow closed her eyes. “It took me another ninety years to clear the Path of the Savior. I told Guardian to piss off for four years after I left here... then got back to training... I learned a lot more. But it was after that path that things got... interesting.”

Touya arched an eyebrow at her. “Hearing you say 'interesting' makes me wonder for the safety of the universe,” he joked. “The things you told me you did... learned... I've never actually heard you use the word 'interesting'.”

“First I had to do the job I was trained to do... save the Universe from some great evil. Turns out I couldn't, I nearly died, got saved, and then got reunited with the memories and life of the person I was before I died.”

Touya swallowed, and smiled. “And then you kicked the guy's ass, I'm sure. So... what was she like? The person you were before... you know?”

Shadow smiled wanly. “It's a he.”

Touya's eyes grew big. “You... you're a man?”

Shadow shook her head. “We're two entirely different people, him and I. We share a soul, which doesn't really have a sex of its own, and that's about all we share. We share existence, a soul, and abilities... but for the rest, we're two different people. We could pass for brother and sister in the way we act, but our looks couldn't be further apart.”

Touya relaxed. “Oh.”

“My reaction was a little more eloquent,” Shadow said with a grin. “I cursed the Gods for doing this to me, and so did he. I mean... he died, and when he returned, he was turned into a woman. Would make anybody a little angry, you know?” she asked with a snicker.

Touya chuckled, and shook his head. “Sounds like you've had a really interesting life.”

Shadow looked at the goban, sadly. “Millions of people depend on me now... for strength, for guidance, for training. And billions more depend on me for protection. It's an interesting life, but it's putting a LOT of pressure on my shoulders.”

Touya was sitting there with open mouth, looking at the woman he loved. “That... sounds like it's a really screwy deal.”

Shadow snorted slightly. “But I have other things to repay for it. People are safer now. And I have good friends, and a family, to help me through it all.”

“You're married?” Touya shouted, drawing looks from other people. He apologized quickly, and the other patrons returned to their game.

“My male alter ego is,” Shadow admitted. “He has a wife and two children... lovely kids, and a good woman. I care for them as if they were my own. Must be part of the whole sharing existence thing. But, as I said, we're two different people.”

Touya nodded, calming down once again. “So... why did you come back? I told you to...”

“I needed to talk to you,” she whispered, cutting him off. “I needed to... to... ask for forgiveness for all that I caused... to...”

Touya sighed. “You want me to let you go,” he whispered. “You needed to know that, now that we're both calm, that I would make the same decision I made when you left.”

Shadow nodded. “Exactly.”

Flashback

Touya and Shadow were sitting, kneeling, side-by-side on the tatami in the Touya gameroom, watching the garden through the large windows. They didn't touch. They almost never touched, following Japanese customs. And it suited Shadow just fine... she had matured without physical comfort, and physical intimacy still frightened her at some point. The light kisses they shared were enough for her now, more intimate than she had ever shared with anyone else.

She glanced to the side, thinking about life in general, and her life in particular. Still... if there was one person she could tolerate, it would be Touya Akira, the boy with the wonderful mind and impeccable manners. She loved him, yes. Loved him with all of her heart. She closed her eyes, and turned back to the window.

She struck up a meaningless discussion on Go, and the two of them started spouting theories. It was their way of being together, linked through the game they shared so deeply in their hearts. Never before had Shadow felt like this... it made her uneasy, fearful, yet happy at the same time. Happy that she had someone to help her through all of it.

She had told him who she was, yes. And he had accepted it after she demonstrated a couple of her abilities. He never blamed her for lying those first months they had known each other. He had understood... and that was another thing she liked about him.

His maturity. He could see the bigger picture, accept that there were things she had been forced to do. Shadow closed her eyes, and glanced to the floor. She was fretful. She knew what could happen. And she didn't want it to happen. Like every time her training was about to come to an end, Shadow didn't want to leave. But now, it was worse than ever.

Their conversation died a meaningless death as they lapsed into silence once again. They remained like that, sitting side-by-side, looking out the big windows to the garden. The garden they had shared their first kiss. It had a special emotional significance to both because of it.

“It is time, Child,” Guardian said softly from behind the couple. “Your training is completed.”

Shadow let out her breath, and glanced at Touya. He remained impassive, staring at the garden as if he willed it to stand up and defend them.

“No,” she answered. Touya and Guardian startled both.

“Hikage-chan...” Touya whispered.

“I won't leave you,” Shadow said, coldly, turning to face the Guardian for the first time. “I am not leaving, Guardian. I am ending it. Right here... right now.”

“Child...” Guardian whispered, shocked.

“For the first time... in one hundred and sixty years... I have a home. I have friends. And I have someone I want to spend the rest of my life with! I am not giving it up!” she shouted, standing up, fifteen-year-old Shadow's body shaking in barely contained fury.

“Your are the Savior of the Universe, Child! You trained for 160 years, and now you want to throw it all away?” Guardian demanded, voice rising as well. “For what? A mortal life? A chance to die without making a difference?”

“I can make a difference in the Go world,” Shadow replied evenly. “I want to stay, Guardian.”

Guardian looked at Touya then. “Do you think that he'll want you if you become Mortal? You know how your body will look then, right? You'll be your physical age.”

Shadow's breath stopped, and she glanced at her love. “I... I'll look like I'm twenty...”

Touya just nodded. Shadow smiled gratefully, and turned to Guardian. She didn't even have to say it. “You stupid children!” she shouted. For the first time, Shadow had heard the Guardian shout. It was like a slap to the face, and the fifteen-year-old Universal Savior stumbled back a couple of steps.

The blue eyes of the Guardian of the Crossroads burned into Shadow's green ones. “The universe depends on you! You can't just walk away from your duty!”

“Watch me,” Shadow replied, crossing her arms, glaring coldly at the Guardian. “I love him, I love my family, and I love Go.”

Guardian frowned, then extended one hand. Shadow screamed, feeling energies work on her body that she didn't want to contemplate too much. In one swoop, her choice had been taken away... twenty-year-old Shadow felt the hormones purge from her adult body. Her mind cleared.

She looked at herself, opening and closing the hands that had been so young for a long time. Her mouth opened, then closed. Helplessly, she looked at Touya, who sat there, watching her with big eyes.

“Akira-kun...”

“It doesn't matter, Hikage-chan,” he whispered.

Strengthened by his acceptance, she glared at Guardian again. Guardian sighed. “This is not what you chose, Child. You chose the Path of the Universal Savior. You chose to become the greatest warrior of the mortal world, in order to protect that world. It's your duty, your CHOSEN duty, to finish the path and become the warrior that is so desperately needed.”

Guardian softened her voice, and stepped closer to Shadow. “Look deep within your heart, Child... can you, with all that you are now... knowingly throw it all away for a mere sixty more years of mortal life, aging, withering away, not making a difference with the vast skills you already amassed? Can you throw away the past 160 years; let all the pain and suffering be in vain?”

Shadow shuffled, was about to respond. “Can you turn your back on the Universal Savior, the ShadowZone, and your skills and abilities? Can you truly be happy here... knowing that all you'll do to the end of your days is be a mere mortal, playing Go? Never fly the skies again with your Ki, never do a power-up, never meet another challenge in your life?”

She felt a new form next to her. “Akira-kun,” she whispered.

Touya looked at the Guardian. “Is this true?” he asked. “Will she never be challenged when she stays here?”

“Right now, Child, she has something she has never had before,” Guardian replied evenly. “She has love for a man. But that won't be enough. She'll always be searching to plug the hole in her heart she not yet realizes is there.”

“GUARDIAN!” Shadow shouted. “How can you SAY those things!?”

“Because I know them to be true, Child,” Guardian replied coldly. “I am merely telling the truth.”

That shut Shadow up. She hated liars... and if Guardian was really telling the truth as she knew it, then Shadow couldn't stop her from answering any more than she could stop breathing. “Then don't say anything... and just leave...”

“Hikage-chan... if your Guardian is right... then you won't be happy here,” Touya finally spoke. “And more than anything... I want you to be happy.”

Shadow turned to him. “But I AM happy here!”

“But for how much longer?” Guardian asked.

“You stay out of this!” Shadow shouted to the white-clad woman.

“But she has a point,” Touya said, sighing sadly, and looking at the ground. “I... I want you to be happy... and for that, you have to follow the path of your heart. And that path takes you away from me...”

Shadow listened, unable to utter a single word. “I think... I think you should go.” he whispered.

“But...” Shadow protested weakly.

“He's right, Child. And you know it, deep in your heart as well,” Guardian said softly.

Shadow sighed, looking at the ground, unable to defend herself at all. Inside of her was still that frightened fifteen-year-old girl, shaking with hormones, and it was that part of her that was hurting tremendously now. It was that part that felt as if it were being ripped out, and ruthlessly stomped on.

“I... I...”

Touya then hugged her, startling the Savior. “I love you,” the boy whispered, feeling just a bit awkward about hugging the woman that his girlfriend would have become in another five years. “And that's why... that's why... I have to ask you... to go...”

She hugged him back, letting her tears flow in conjunction with his. “I... I love you too, Akira-kun... and for you... I'll go.”

End Flashback

Tears rolled down their cheeks as they stared at the goban. Both looked up at the same time, and just knew what they had been remembering. “I hated Guardian for years after that,” Shadow whispered. “For taking away my choice, turning me to this form without giving you a chance... by turning you against me...”

“I was turned to the right side,” the boy whispered sadly. “It was the right thing for you to do.”

“I know that now,” Shadow whispered sadly. “I know that now.”

Touya looked down at the goban, eyes widening. “Hikage-chan...”

Shadow looked, eyes opening in remembrance. “The first game I beat you...”

“The game that got us together,” he said with a faint smile. He looked at her. “My father's garden is still there, as beautiful as it always was.”

Shadow dipped her head; stood up. “Let's go.”

It was during breakfast that Shadow rematerialized on the bridge. She glanced at the main screen, the bridge still under privacy lockdown. She tapped a few keys on the armrest. The planet vanished from the screen, only to be replaced by COORDINATES DELETED.

She nodded once, tensely.

We'll both be okay, Frederic whispered in her mind.

I know... she replied, just a little sadly. I never knew how painful healing could be.

Frederic chuckled to her. I know how painful healing can be. I just experienced it a mere week ago.

Shadow nodded to him, then her body changed fluidly into his. Just before he deactivated the privacy lockdown, he heard her whispered, thank you.

You're welcome, Shadow... come on, let's have breakfast with our family.

He felt a faint smile flutter over his mind. Yes. Let's.